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The Fitness Advantages Of Having "Brotherhood Brothers" In Our Life

Read this AFTER you’ve experienced this Brotherhood Area first.

Here are the takeaways on how brotherhood brothers significantly benefit our fitness as a man: 

  • "Brotherhood Brother" is the handbook's term for a special kind of male friendship that goes beyond a "buddy" and becomes a "bro/brother" and provides huge and essential benefits to a man's life. It can take years for one of these special friendships to form, and we want as many as possible in our lives.
  • A brotherhood brother is defined to be a "deep, loving, bonded, affectionate, non-sexual, unforced relationship with another guy that lasts a lifetime." And we can have as many as we want and they don't get jealous of each other.
  • Confidentiality - we can often tell our brothers things we wouldn't tell our spouse, but this level of trust is earned.
  • Sounding board - we can often work things out just by being able to talk it out without judgement, and being away from the expectations of the confusing world we live in.
  • Us guys don’t keep tabs on each other’s mistakes (even remembering the date 😉) and instead we help each other get up and try again. Our fuckups are quickly forgotten.
  • Our bros have our back and provide support, motivation, inspiration, can be an accountability partner, etc.
  • “There are no boners in brotherhood” – these are non-sexual relationships, but still full-on relationships.
  • Men are warned not to confuse loving another dude as meaning there are "gay" feelings happening between them. Love and sex are two completely separate things. It's all cleared up in both the Sex Area and Confusion Area.
  • If your woman objects to you having brotherhoods in your life, you must get a new woman, or have your bros anyway. Not having brotherhood brothers is not an option if a guy wants to be a sturdy and respected man. Hopefully she has her equivalent "sisters" which are essential for her well-being as well.
  • Affection is very important between men. It was normal and prevalent until around the 1980’s when the FoG (Fear Of Gay) thing happened and caused men to distance themselves from each other. This FoG has actually devastated (word chosen carefully) the world of men causing guys to hesitate. We even had to make this handbook available to men in secret because of the FoG. There's only one solution which is to eliminate the Yanker Words (see the reference section in the hamburger menu) which perpetuate this distancing and keeps men hesitant.
  • Long story short – a man thrives when he has at least one or more "bromances" (non-sexual relationships with men), and then an optional "romance" (sexual relationship with someone you pair up with, and have a family with). Our brotherhoods significantly ease relationships with women because we don’t have all our eggs in one basket, and if the relationship is volatile or ends, then what have we got? It leads many men to violence or suicide if they have no one else in their life.

Brotherhood brothers are like the pylons that hold up a pier. They help us withstand severe storms and keep us above water. There might be a lot of drama at home, but it’s not such a big deal with your brothers at your side.

And brotherhood brothers are full of fun, play, adventure, and pushing each other to be a better man.

There’s no difference between a relationship with a guy and a relationship with a woman, except for sex, and that men understand each other right out of the box. Plus, we might not see each other for a while and that makes no difference.

Fitness Advantage Hide

Brotherhood

Brotherhood is one of the two pillars of this handbook. 
It has played an essential role in bringing us the entire built world among many other good things.
And it helps us be a sturdy and resilient individual.

Men have evolved over tens of thousands of years to be able to easily spend all day long, every day with each other. (The males who couldn’t band together with their brothers we’re less successful and got selected out of the gene pool.)

(Notice in the picture above that everything you see in the background – the buildings, street, infrastructure, etc – all of it was put there by males, at least 90% males.)

Inside of all this time men spend together flourishes the human characteristics that are usually amplified in men (our male flavoring). 

Chief among these characteristics amplified in men is the instinct of brotherhood – deeply bonded, loving, affectionate, non-sexual, unforced relationships between men that last a lifetime. 

And we can have as many of these relationships as we want and they don’t get jealous of each other! These relationships can rival or exceed the quality of relationships between men and women, just without the sex. In fact, they help prepare us for pairing up with women in a significant way.

In the same way that [diet + exercise] causes so many things to automatically fall into place and benefit our total well-being, the same is true for our brotherhood relationships which have huge beneficial effects in our lives as men, helping us to more easily thrive, prosper and be resilient (anti-fragile). It’s the way we’re made.

If you don’t think it’s important to have brothers in your life, then being here reading this is the perfect place to be. We will make the case for the essential need of having brothers in your life and you can decide.

Many guys will dive into the handbook and try to take the easy route and check out the various areas of the handbook to see if they can pick up a tip or two toward the goal of, say, getting more women in their life, but it won’t work in the long run. It’s unsustainable because they likely missed that if they really want their life to go well, they have to do the work to become a whole well-put-together man. And it’s unlikely they’ll be able to do this on their own because…

No matter what it is, you can’t do it alone.

Women aren’t going to be able to help us be a well-put-together man. If they do, they will make us into a version of a man that suits them, and there’s a very high chance that parts of our masculinity and personality will be erased or suppressed. Only men can help us be a great guy.

If you think “all I need is the love of a good woman” and I don’t need guys in my life, then there’s a chance that might work out. It has before, but it’s not a common occurrence and it’s rare. 

Divorce IS what’s a very common occurrence and it’s up to us men to help each other understand why half of all marriages break up (and men often lose at least half of their wealth) and a large chunk of the marriages that don’t break up are often miserable. Having men in our lives goes a long way in helping avoid divorce which is extremely painful.

So let’s bring some of that James Webb Space Telescope clarity to what brotherhood is and why it’s a powerful instinct in men for the benefit of the world, and helps us have significantly better relationships with women and everyone else.

Instead of describing brotherhood in text, and intellectually, here are three amazing examples of brotherhood that you can experience directly with far better results. Do the work and watch all three of these fun videos without exception, they’re part of a set. The videos add up to 26 minutes of your time. It’s 26 minutes you won’t forget.

The "Brotherhood" Dance Crew

Let’s take something from the real world that beautifully illustrates brotherhood, and involves most of the elements of male flavoring, and it’s really fun. We’re going to enjoy this 1st place winning performance of a dance crew aptly named “Brotherhood” from 2019 just before COVID hit. 

In these competitions, a performance must have a theme or story, so these guys cleverly chose to use all their social media criticisms (from their “haters”) to shape this performance and show off their choreographic and physical talents. And it also gives them the opportunity to pick dance styles that will tick all the boxes on the judge’s checklists. Brilliant!

Note that the guy with the long blond hair is the group’s founder, co-director and choreographer Scott Forsyth leading the 14 man group, and notice the typecasting that may come up in our heads.

Please full-screen this video and use earbuds if you can.

Again, here’s the list of human characteristics that are usually amplified in men. The highlighted ones are the ones active that made their 1st place win possible. It almost lit up the entire board!

  • Brotherhood (multiple, loving, bonded, affectionate, non-sexual, unforced relationships between men that last a lifetime)
  • Tribal (deep bonding into pairs, groups, clubs, fraternities, tribes, armies, nations that create the SPACE in which the next three chunks thrive…)
  • Explore, Learn, Discover, Solve
  • Create, Build, Repair, Improve, Destroy
  • Logic, Reason, Integrity
  • Play, Fitness, Compete, Organize, Lead, Control, Fight, Kill
  • Independence, Freedom, Solitude, Quiet
  • Provide for others, Protect family, Look after each other
  • Constant intense horniness, Seek variety, GOMO (get off move on), Rape


Think about the years of work, the commitment, the unbelievable amount of hours spent rehearsing, the stress, the injuries and fallout of the guys who couldn’t make the cut, and on and on. And then getting the crew to competitions, fed, rested, dressed and mentally prepared to blow everyone away. What does it feel like to dance with your brothers as one unit, all of whom you’ve bonded with, driven by fierce competitiveness, and hearing all the girls screaming and cheering for you?

St. Benedict's Preparatory School

Here’s a 60 Minutes segment about the St. Benedict’s Preparatory School for boys in an inner-city area of New Jersey that aired March 20, 2016 narrated by Scott Pelley.

It’s a good thing that I was home alone when I watched it because after it was over I put my face in my hands and cried. Why did it affect me so profoundly? I’m still not sure to this day.

But I had no clue that 7 years later I would produce a way to replicate what was happening at this school but for hundreds of millions of men planet-wide with this handbook.

I did not model the handbook after St. Benedict’s, or the Boy Scout Handbook, or the Marines or Navy SEALs, or anything. This handbook is what happens when we press the reset button and start over fresh, examine human nature and male-flavored human beings in particular, ditch conventional thinking, oversimplifications and confusion, and focus on all the amazing things that can come from men and brotherhood.

There are literally hundreds of things in this handbook you will not find mentioned or taught in sports teams, the military, or boys prep schools or public schools. It’s key that there are no inhibitions here. The only optimal path to success is to have integrity when dealing with reality. We can’t make stuff up, or pretend that something doesn’t exist or isn’t happening.

So, please take 14 minutes of your valuable time and watch this 60 Minutes segment by tapping the image. It’s absolutely amazing. Big thanks to St. Benedict’s for hosting this video so we can all benefit from their genius.

The DarkAero Brothers

Here we have three actual blood brothers, Riley, River and Keegan who all got university degrees and then formed their own company to build kit planes made predominantly of carbon fiber.

This is another example of how men can spend all day long, every day with each other (even after growing up together). They work hard and endure stress toward the goal of creating, building, and improving something and exploring, learning, discovering new processes and solving problems along the way. This short video shows how it all came together.

Pilot’s lives hang in the balance when flying these planes so the stakes are high. Why do men pick projects like this?  

Friends, Buds And Bros

It’s hard to summarize what brotherhood is using words because so much of it is a strong feeling we have in our chests. This is why I wanted you to have the three experiences above with brotherhood in it so you can see it for yourself. 

Many guys will already know what we’re talking about here, but it’s clear from the data that the number of guys who have at least one friend has dropped significantly (see video “The Decline of Friendships” below).

What’s the difference between having a guy friend (bud) and a brother (bro)?

You know he’s a brother when your face lights up when you see him and give him an actual chest-to-chest hug. When he leaves you give him another hug and say the words “love you man” or something like that with the word “love” in it.

You look forward to the next time you see him and you guys talk and text all the time and plan things to do together. In an ideal world, he’s just one of your brothers.

We know that men can bond when they simply sit by each other in complete silence, like when fishing. A buddy of mine who was in the Army still sees one of his brothers from the Army who is suffering with severe PTSD. When he visits him he doesn’t (can’t) talk with him much, but they hang out playing video games or watching sports. It doesn’t seem like it on the surface, but that’s some powerful shit right there. Just hangin’ with your man.

When you’re dating women or married, you’re face to face. When you’re with your brother, you’re side by side.

As I mention often, I have 11 brotherhood brothers in my life, many going back to high school and college and I still see them all to this day. (I also mention that it’s silly to count and rate your friends and brothers but there are times when it’s good to stop and take stock of our friends, buds and bros.)

With ALL of my brothers, our faces light up when we see each other, there’s an “arrival hug,” we laugh and talk about dumb stuff and super personal stuff because as Brené Brown points out “we’ve earned the right to hear each other’s personal stories” and we know very personal things about each other, and we’ve had at least one big bonding adventure together. 

And when we part we give each other a bear hug, with our ears touching, and say I love you, and wave as we drive or walk away from each other. And none of us have had sex together or want to have sex together even though some of them are gay same-sexuals. My intense feelings for them is located in my chest/stomach area, not in my dick. They tell me that’s the way they feel about me too, and I’m honored and feel as lucky as hell that they’re in my life.

Again, the “love” we have for each other is strong, the same love we have for our significant other, and (some or all) of our family members. Same stuff. Whether the person we love deeply has a penis or vagina is totally irrelevant.

I can absolutely rely on each and every one of my brotherhood brothers to have my back and show up in an instant if I need them in any way whatsoever. They cheer me on when I’m trying to accomplish something difficult, if not directly help me out.

That’s what brotherhood looks and feels like. Deep, loving, bonded, non-sexual, unforced relationships with men that last a lifetime, all working as an essential pillar of our lives.

This handbook is bringing brotherhood to the forefront, it’s something that has always existed in a big way, it’s a thing, a big thing, but our culture is no longer used to talking about it. Well that was then, and this is now.


An Analogy For The Benefits Of Brotherhood

Here’s something you’ll find interesting. As an analogy, with our physical bodies, we now have the data that shows there’s one thing we can do that significantly extends our lives – having as much [muscle mass + strength] as we can. Check out the video below.

I learned that lesson 20+ years ago when I had a life-threatening disease and got very close to dying (thankfully it’s now gone). I was shown that the people who had as much lean body mass as possible had a better chance of survival. So I hit the gym. We now know this is true across the board with any form of life-threatening disease or challenging physical circumstances.

So, brotherhood is like having that [muscle mass + strength] combo. It gives us resilience against hardships, it significantly extends our lives, and brings us a lot of fun, laughing, and adventure. It’s solid and non-volatile, and there are no dynamics in brotherhood relationships that can suppress parts of our personalities which happens often in male/female relationships. (“Happy wife, happy life” is an unfortunate expression that speaks to this.)

Forming Brotherhoods

Here’s a collection of the best videos I’ve found over the years that show how to develop friendships into brotherhood. Notice how these “friendship” videos are all dancing around the topic of brotherhood. While they’re reluctant to call them brotherhoods (because they don’t understand what brotherhood is and how to talk about it), they’re still spot on with how friendships form and evolve into brotherhood with, say, a bonding adventure, like Nathaniel Drew doing a cliff jump into the water with a new brotherhood brother helping him to just do it.

Btw, all these guys in this video playlist who are making these videos are very remarkable people, like Nathaniel Drew, Thomas Frank, Joey Schweitzer and Richard Reeves. 

As with all of Nathaniel’s other videos including the one below, we’re watching him grow “out loud” and evolve and understand his own life in real time. Matthew Hussey gives advice to women on dating men, but he is talking to us guys in his video below about making friends as an adult.

The last video features Richard Reeves, an “authority on the lives of men” and he shows the data about how friendships are declining in men. I want you to watch it and wonder what’s causing that. Is there some resistance to forming friendships / lifelong brotherhoods going on in your life? 

This is the purpose of the 21st Century Man Handbook – to help us strengthen our lives, over long periods of time, with the handbook’s built-in band of brothers at your side, helping you form your own real-life brotherhoods of your own, if you don’t already have them. 

Also, while you’re watching these cool videos, notice how we typecast these guys. They’re popular on YouTube because they’re young, handsome, and “manly” looking. It’s because we want to identify with them both physically and mentally. That’s okay, and the information is excellent. We’re watching these guys look after their brothers, directly and indirectly. They’re predominantly, if not completely speaking to men.

There Are No Boners In Brotherhood

The expression “There are no boners in brotherhood” is a saying we coined here in the handbook to remind ourselves and everyone else that when we’re talking about brotherhood, there’s no sex involved.

Unfortunately we need to make a big deal about this because, as you learned in the Confusion Area, the world we live in confuses sex and love together. Love and sex are two completely separate things, of course.

Between men, in brotherhood, there’s no sexual activity. If there is, it’s more of a same-sex “pairing” relationship which is great too.


The Pixar Movie “Luca”

Take the awesome Pixar movie Luca (trailer below) which is a movie about two boys forming their first lifelong brotherhood together. 

Interestingly, many people thought it was a gay same-sexual coming out movie. Or more gently put, a movie that’s a “gay allegory.”

When I heard that I thought WTF! No, no, no! This is about two pre-pubescent boys. There’s no reference to sex anywhere in the movie, directly or implied!

But because our world confuses love and sex, lots of people “saw” something that was not there. It’s up to us to remind people around us that love and sex are separate things, and there’s no sex in brotherhood. 

We want to get it in every man’s mind that when anyone in the entire population of men starts liking another man, it’s does not mean they might be gay a same-sex oriented man, and possibly shy away from getting close to other men, thereby losing out on one of the most essential things in a man’s life.

The “Insider” media site posted an article titled “‘Luca’ proves Disney’s Pixar wasn’t brave enough to fully commit to its first queer animated film.” It’s just typical clickbait from an online site, but unfortunately it perpetuates the confusion between sex and love.

 “LUCA” IS, however, the first animated movie about boys forming their first lifelong brotherhood, along with the standard “bromance” that goes along with every male friendship formed by every boy on the planet, since, like, forever!

The worry is that when boys start forming a friendship with another boy that they like, they could become afraid that they might be gay same-sexual. Even worse, a bully could start a rumor that his best friend is his boyfriend. (There’s a great technique for dealing with bullies who might try something like this called “Hearing With Both Ears” described in the Head Area of the handbook.)

I seriously wonder if this is a factor in the declining number of friendships evidenced in the video playlist above. 

One of my buddies told me a story of when, one day at a sports camp, he simply noticed that his coach was handsome, and suddenly he became frightened that it meant he’s gay same-sexual. He came home and watched different kinds of porn to test himself. It now seems silly to him, but I’m certain every young man has his story to tell about being confused about their sexuality. All that is preventable with an education.

This handbook dissolves that confusion (See the “FoG’ in the Confusion Area) and gives all of us men the first complete sex education that’s real and honest and doesn’t pander and omit important things just because mom, dad, or a politician might get triggered from their own lack of education.

This is what this handbook is for – to clarify things for us guys so we can then clarify it for everyone around us.

In the second video in the playlist below there’s an interview with Mike Jones, the principal author of Luca, hosted by the great guys over at Linus Tech Tips channel with their podcast/subchannel called “They’re Just Movies.” We can see the confusion between sex and love happening right there, right in front of us, in real time, as they ask Mike Jones about that gay thing.

This confusion, then, can directly interfere with the formation of brotherhoods. It’s a kind of sexual interference. And it’s a very unfortunate thing. If a boy is same-sexual, that’s great, but ALL boys, including same-sexual boys should not be robbed of forming brotherhoods that are an essential part of every man’s life.

This is why we want to alway keep repeating that “There are no boners in brotherhood.” Plus, it’s fun to say!

 

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© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
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The FoG and the Manhood Confusion Attack

These two things are an inseparable pair.

🔸 One is the “cause” – the Manhood Confusion Attack (MCA)

🔸 One is the “symptom” of the cause – the FoG (Fear of Gay)

And there’s also a “result” of the [cause + symptom] pair that causes men to hide, hesitate and overcompensate, and this is now at epidemic levels. It’s so prevalent guys don’t even notice it.

Virtually all men have experienced this cause/symptom/result, but it has never had a formal name. Now it does. This makes it easy to talk about it, be aware of it, and thus easier to eliminate from our lives.

The [Manhood Confusion Attack + FoG] results in men HESITATING in ways that aren’t even related to sex, like being funny, communicating well and so many other things.

How many guys come up to you at the gym and introduce themselves? Like none. I introduce myself to guys at the gym all the time, and in a way that I learned that doesn’t trigger any weirdness, and now they all nod, wave and smile and and appreciates that I didn’t hesitate. There are so many interesting and amazing people at the gym, but the FoG is pretty thick at the gym. My buddy Alex at the gym is the same way and talks to even more guys than I do. He doesn’t have the FoG.


It All Started On The Playground

When we’re kids, us boys are competitive and set the pecking order at home and at school by calling each other names that call our manhood into question including…

Fag, homo, pussy, wuss, sissy, wimp, cocksucker, you throw like a girl, are you going to cry and tell your mommy?

And it even gets into our language where a bully might say to a nerd “Dude, why are you so gay on science?”

This is the “attack” part. Even dads attack their boys, and it’s in so many movies and stories.

Well, before most of us boys even know what sex is, we start hearing about this “gay” thing, whatever that is, but apparently it’s horrible, disgusting and seriously fucked up. 

Boys hear about guys getting beat up and even killed. They hear about politicians banning gay stuff and drag queens fighting back. “Gay” gets associated with femininity of any kind. So don’t act gay.

Instead, hide (wear a hoodie), hesitate (don’t say anything, don’t be funny or extroverted), or overcompensate by being overtly masculine. Distance yourself from homos.


The Fear of Gay, The FoG For Short

The cool thing about the term FoG is that we all live with this kind of actual fog all around us, like air pollution, and we’ve become so accustomed to it we don’t notice it anymore.

And even if we aren’t affected by the FoG any longer, we still have to live with it showing up all around us – kind of like being a non-smoking employee working in a smoke-filled Las Vegas casino.


The Attack Works Really Well In Disabling Men

The FoG causes boys to hesitate getting close to another guy and thus inhibiting them from forming deep brotherhood bonds with other guys that are so essential to a guy’s well-being.

It causes them to doubt themselves more and get out and meet women less, for example.

And it confuses the hell out of them. Now there is this artificial line drawn between gay and straight, and no one knows where it is. They realize that when they’re masturbating and getting the maximum orgasm out of themselves they’re actually learning all about having sex with a dude.

And they’re afraid to look at other guys, but if you don’t, how does a guy learn what a sexy man looks like?

And worst of all, it causes guys to be afraid of checking out this handbook which is the ONLY way to clear up the confusion.

This is a great example of how screwed up things are. Guys have no problem learning about and getting good at anything else in life EXCEPT when it comes to be a well-put together man so that the best in life shows up for us as a result, like women, and work opportunities, and on and on.

We’ll stop here. 

The rest of this topic and it’s solution is covered in throughout the handbook including in the Confusion Area and the Sex Area.

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

Definition Of "Man" and "Masculinity"

Man

A MAN is a human whose gender identitiy is predominantly male, he feels like a man, he feels comfortable in the world of men, and feels he belongs in the world of men. Full stop.


Masculinity

MASCULINITY refers to the following collection of “chunks” of human attributes (characteristics) almost always amplifed in men.

  • Brotherhood (multiple, loving, bonded, affectionaate, non-sexual, unforced relationships between men that last a lifetime)
  • Tribal (deep bonding into pairs, groups, clubs, fraternities, tribes, armies, nations that create the OPEN SPACE in which the next three attributes thrive…)
  • Explore, Learn, Discover, Solve
  • Create, Build, Repair, Improve, Destroy
  • Play, Fitness, Compete, Organize, Lead, Control, Fight, Kill
  • Logic, Reason, Integrity
  • Independence, Freedom, Solitude, Quiet
  • Provide for others, Protect family, Look after others
  • Constant intense horniness, Seek variety, GOMO (get off move on), Rape
 
The handbook tries to avoid the word masculinity and instead uses the phrase “male flavored” which is more descriptive and avoids the bad baggage that the term “masculinity” continues to have in all of our heads, along with the confusion it perpetuates.

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

Yanker Words

Yanker words are words where, the instant they’re used, they yank us back to the very place we’re trying to get away from.

We avoid using all the yanker words you see below throughout the handbook. Sometimes there’s a preferred alternative.

  • Straight – too often used as a shield. The new term is “opposite-sexual” keeping the focus on just sexuality, which leaves behind all the barnacles that have formed on this label.
  • Gay – unfortunately a weaponized term. It’s baggage also implies membership to a gay subculture which only a minority of “same-sexual” men actually participate in. Most men who are exclusively same-sexual are invisible and you would not know it unless they told you.
  • LGBTQIA+ – We instead use “The Hand Thing” (described in the Sex Area) to better describe the landscape of human sex-related characteristics and then we can avoid this awful list of ad hoc terms that both overlap and leave gaps. The Hand Thing does a far better job, and it’s fun too.
  • Homophobia – The replacement term is the FoG (“Fear of Gay”) that’s the name of symptom of a cause – the Manhood Confusion Attack (MCA) – explained in the Sex area. Referencing the FoG is better because it’s tied to its cause, which homophobia is not. The public cannot explain what causes homophobia. But the FoG is always refered to being the symptom of the Manhood Confusion Attack which every male has experienced.
  • Minorities – The mere mention of this is what perpetuates the idea that something is lesser. Just ignore this word and move on.
  • Racism – Morgan Freeman said in a 60 Minutes interview, “If you want to end racism, stop talking about it.” So true.
  • BIPOC – Black, Indigenous, People Of Color
  • Liberal / Conservative – no one knows what these two words actually men. Get three people together and have them each define them and you’ll see.
  • Patriarchy – all men alive today were born into the “patriarchy” and are not responsible for it. The fact that we live in “a man’s world” is a byproduct of the way men are. The handbook does not recognize this term, use this term, or fight about this term. It’s best ignored and 21C Men are always on the lookout for when women are excluded from anything. However, women ARE excluded from participating in this handbook, just as men are excluded from involvement of the creation and life of the 21st Century Woman Handbook. This separation is for a very good reason and makes it easier to make progress. Men and women are very different creatures.

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

ChatGPT - What Is Masculinity?

If you have access to ChatGPT, ask it “What is masculinity” and here is its reply…

“Masculinity is a complex and multifaceted concept that varies across cultures and societies. Broadly speaking, masculinity refers to the set of attributes, behaviors, and roles traditionally associated with men and boys. These can include qualities such as strength, assertiveness, independence, courage, and leadership. However, it is important to note that the understanding of masculinity has evolved over time, and there is increasing recognition that it is not limited to a fixed set of traits. Different cultures and individuals may have their own interpretations of what masculinity means, and there is growing awareness of the importance of embracing a more inclusive and diverse understanding of gender roles.”

Clearly it reflects the confusion that exists in our world. This explains so much, eh?


© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

WYNSALT - Why You've Never Seen Anything Like This!

It looks like the handbook catches a lot of people offguard. A video is being made that gives a proper introduction to what is unusual and different about it. And it has to be this way like it or not.

Here are the elements that are a part of why no one has seen anything like this before.

  • R&D – Thiis is a topic of interest of Mark’s throughout his lifetime, plus all his speaking gigs over the past 15 years where many ideas were developed and tested, and ultimately the discovery seven years ago that apparently this is his calling and destiny – to make the handbook real.
  • Reset – Walk away from conventional thinking in a sweeeping way. Start over.
  • Structure – The Map of a Man’s Life was developed to structure information for the first time.
  • Adversary – Confusion is a man’s only adversary. There is no other.
  • Tap into an instinct – Brotherhood, allowing us to easily bond, band together and look after each other as we help each other learn and grow all throughout life, rasing all boats.
  • Point Of View – We try to be consistent about taking an outsider point of view, like we’re an alien trying to understand the human race. 
  • Managed Language and Labels – This is one of the most significant things to be mindful of because to a great degree, the English language and all the labels we use are a huge part of the confusion we must endure. The handbook would just end up with more of the same confusion unless we ditch problematic language, labels and terms agressively.
  • Methodology – Consistency, integrity, critical thinking skills, logic, reason, no pandering to the lowest common denominator whatsoever, no fear, and no shame.
  • Men are left with…
    • Belonging to a community (can only be in one gang)
    • Resilience and Anti-fragility
    • More Meaning in their lives
    • Restored Connections to People and Planet
In addition, some of this stuff may be before it’s time. As Wayne Gretzky says, we’re skating to where the puck is going to be.
 

First Responders

Years ago I started assembling a list of no more than 150 men, the widely acknowledged size of a “tribe,” whom I personally know and who have expressed interest in the handbook. It’s now time to engage this tribe and have them start experiencing the handbook, in the incomplete state it’s in now, and help refine it before it gets exposed to the open internet of millions of men.  

I want to thank all my brothers, buddies, friends and professional contacts who stand together with me now to help see this sailing ship finally become seaworthy enough to be pushed away from the dock and set out to sea in the coming month(s).

I’m so privileged and grateful. Thank you!

(Highlighted names are the guys I’ve reached out to.)

  1. Adam Markle
  2. Alberto Bautista
  3. Alex (from gym)
  4. Alex Fazekas-Paul
  5. Alex Rennie
  6. Andre Doucette
  7. Andrew Day
  8. Andy Bayon
  9. Austin Barrett
  10. Benaiah Koskovich
  11. Bill Bermudez
  12. Bill Persky
  13. Bill Plenefisch
  14. Bill Rocco
  15. BJ Lawrence
  16. Brad Cushman
  17. Brad Hoag
  18. Brent Weiss
  19. Brett Serwalt
  20. Brian Clark
  21. Brian Jessup
  22. Bruce Hartman
  23. Calvin Tom
  24. Cam Richardson
  25. Carlos Martinez
  26. Cedric Terrell
  27. Cesar Bohorquez
  28. Charles Washburn
  29. Chip Milligan
  30. Clay Tschudy
  31. Craig Robertson
  32. Dalton Minard
  33. Dan (neighbor)
  34. Dan Axlerod
  35. Dan Gallien
  36. Dane Dormio
  37. Daniel Hauk
  38. David Alvarado
  39. David Gao
  40. David Highly
  41. David O’Brien
  42. David Santana
  43. Demetrius Atuña
  44. Dennis Stein
  45. Duane Stanton
  46. Eddie Meyerholtz
  47. Eric Hernandez
  48. Eugene Baronilla
  49. Fergal O’Doherty
  50. Francisco Zepeda
  51. Garth Corbin
  52. Geoff Thomas
  53. George Lapole
  54. George Tubon
  55. Grant Tom
  56. Hector Martinez
  57. Hector (gym owner)
  58. Israel Ramos
  59. Izac (gym)
  60. James Labrie
  61. James Person
  62. James Segers
  63. Jamie Colter
  64. Jason Kordestani
  65. Jaylen Braiden
  66. Jeff Simonds
  67. Jesse Palmer
  68. Jim Riggenbach
  69. Jody Mitchel
  70. Joe Gregore
  71. Joe Lucero
  72. John Alexander
  73. John Gardiner
  74. John Rumsey
  75. Jon Block
  76. Jon Weimhoff
  77. Jonny Valamehr
  78. Jose Mendoza
  79. Jose (gym)
  80. Josh (Wall Builder)
  81. Josh Arce
  82. Justin Lee
  83. Karl Kyler
  84. Kevin Waldrop
  85. Lael Corbin
  86. Lap Luu
  87. Loren Freestone
  88. Marcus Block
  89. Mark Ghitman
  90. Matt Baker
  91. Matt Carpinello
  92. Matt Luria
  93. Matt Ritchey
  94. Matty Valdespino
  95. Michael Floerchinger
  96. Michael Plouff
  97. Michael Schaeffer
  98. Michael Scott
  99. Mick Macklemore
  100. Mike Hrostoski
  101. Mike Simms
  102. Mo Bidair
  103. Nathan Haas
  104. Patrick Hudspeth
  105. Patrick Hurley
  106. Paul Spaeth
  107. Paul Tomcavage
  108. Paul Robbins
  109. Peter Larson
  110. Peter Shin
  111. Philippe Drolet
  112. Rayan Boujaram
  113. Rene Hererra
  114. Reuben Limon
  115. Richard Gaskin
  116. Rick Sainz
  117. Rob Rundle
  118. Robb Harvey
  119. Robert Houghton
  120. Rusty Bresser
  121. Ryan Brolliar
  122. Ryan Conroy
  123. Ryan O’Connor
  124. Ryan Stock
  125. Ryan Swedlund
  126. Ryan Warnock
  127. Sasha Turovsky
  128. Sean Hudson
  129. Sean Yoshikawa
  130. Sebastian Hernandez
  131. Skott Jones
  132. Spike Dale
  133. Steve Hernandez
  134. Steven Cooper
  135. Steven Worth
  136. Thaddius Donnarumma
  137. Thomas Swope
  138. Tim Geraci
  139. Tom Demich
  140. Tom Duncan
  141. Tom Hepler
  142. Tom Hymes
  143. Tom Waidzunas
  144. Trentamus Briggs
  145. Trevy James
  146. Warren Reed
  147. Wayne Delano
  148. Will Metivet
  149. Yudi Andiwinata
  150. Zarek Pilakowski
 

A “tribe” is a group of around 150 people. It’s a special number because for humans, that’s about the limit of how many people we’re able to get to know and feel like they’re part of our community.

There are companies where when a location grows past 150 people, it will split off into a new location so that the employees at any location will all get to know each other well and work together as a tight knit community with all the productivity benefits that yields. Belonging is a powerful human instinct and need.

This is a photo of a tribe in New Guinea.

 

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

Thanks For Communicating!

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

This Is A Popup

This brings up some information like a definition, a long list, an image, whatever. 

Click the red arrow at the upper right to close it.

If you wondered about this photo, it’s a picture of the the crew of an aircraft carrier. The crewmen in brightly colored jerseys work on the flight deck and their role is color coded. Check out the orange References and Notes Show/Hide bar at the bottom of this START HERE section for more details on what the colors mean.


Extra Credit: There are a few women in this picture. Can you find them?

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
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No Two Humans Are Alike

If we say for a moment that each of these independent human attributes listed below was only an on or off, one or the other, binary kind of thing, then to calculate the number of combinations of human beings that are possible, this list of 60 items can be calculated as 2 to the power of 60…

     260 = 1,152,921,504,606,846,976

or over 1 quintillion combinations of human beings.

But there are actually far more combinations than that because most of the attributes are spectrums, ranges, and sometimes multiple choice. And this list keeps growing because now there are 71 items below. But we’re in the general ballpark.

Long story short, no two human beings who have ever lived are alike.


Visible Human Attributes

  1. Body type
  2. Face
  3. Age
  4. Race – Asian, Black, Caucasian, etc
  5. Ethnicity – Jewish, Eritrean, Japanese, hispanic, middle-eastern, etc
  6. Fashion  – clothes, hair, makeup, bling
  7. Mannerisms – masculine, feminine, animated, reserved
  8. Fitness – from couch potato to fit physique
  9. Sex – physical appearance is male, female, or combination
  10. Voice
  11. Physical injuries, disabilities

Invisible Human Attributes

  1. Sexual orientation – same-sex, opposite sex, both
  2. Genetalia – male, female, blend of the two
  3. Gender Identity – Identify as a man, woman, or a combination
  4. Sexual experiences – each person has a different set of them
  5. Sexual Activity level – from once a year to once a day, includes sex with self
  6. Fetishes – this list usually gets longer over time, and is very unique to each person
  7. Sexual styles – traditional, wild, rough, slow, intense, spiritual
  8. Emotion – from very sensitive to seemingly dead inside
  9. Empathy – the ability to connect with other people’s experiences
  10. Shame – how much is imposed on us and how we deal with it
  11. Negative experiences – any traumas that impact one’s life
  12. Fears 
  13. Addictions
  14. Optimistic to Pessimistic
  15. Who a life partner is to us – from best friend and soul mate to…
  16. Love – the many people we love deeply and would do anything for them
  17. Diet – from junk food to veganism
  18. Exercise – from sedentary to gym junkie, hiker, walker, runner, etc
  19. Play – what we do for fun
  20. Sleep and Rest – getting enough sleep has a big affect on our lives
  21. Habits – daily habits and our routine
  22. Self-improvement – from stuck in our ways to always learning something new
  23. Rhythm of life – harmonious, discordant, inconsistent, repetitive
  24. Tidy to messy
  25. Ambitions
  26. Creativity
  27. Talents – art, music, speaking, juggling, comedy, teaching, crafts, cooking, etc
  28. Experience – comes with age, hopefully
  29. Wisdom – comes with age or from study
  30. Clear Thinking Skills – we’re improving them now!
  31. Strongly Held Beliefs
  32. Limiting Beliefs – things that hold us back and stop us
  33. Integrity
  34. Discipline
  35. Languages – other languages we may be able to speak
  36. Communication Skills
  37. Achievements
  38. Quirks and eccentricities
  39. Self-expression – from bookworm to skydiver
  40. Introvert to extrovert
  41. Loner to gregarious
  42. Culture – Mexican, Jewish, Italian, Chinese, etc
  43. Parents – both mom and dad, just a mom, just a dad, neither
  44. Siblings – only child, only brothers, only sisters, both brothers and sisters
  45. Economic status from childhood to current
  46. Neighborhood from childhood to current – rough, scary, pleasant, posh
  47. Religion
  48. Extended family – from small to large
  49. Nurturing
  50. Protective of others
  51. Mentors and Idols – the people who’ve had a big influence on our lives
  52. Education – public or private, college, easy/rough/difficult schools
  53. Job History – from entry level jobs to careers
  54. Books and Movies
  55. Social Media
  56. Physical Illness – from minor chronic problems to life-threatening
  57. Mental Illness – from minor neuroses to being bipolar, schizophrenic, etc
  58. Comfort zone – how often we will leave our comfort zone
  59. Friends – the people who know us and we can turn to and count on
  60. Curious and Inquisitive

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
All Rights Reserved

Life's Journey

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

Hunter S. Thompson

© 2018-2023 Markus Halvorson
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